


Three's Company

by autisticblueteam



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Autistic Character, Autistic Character(s), Bad Pick-Up Lines, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-12 02:04:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5649688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autisticblueteam/pseuds/autisticblueteam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tucker is acting odd (well, more odd than usual) and everyone seems to be in on something that Wash just isn’t. This, combined with his uncertainty over what exactly he and Caboose are to each other, makes for a very confused Washington.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three's Company

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is the set up for Tuckboosington as my main timeline’s endgame ship, and really does focus on Wash being absolutely confused by everything that is going on.

“Alright, take fifteen!”

A chorus of relieved sighs and tired cheers was heard as the mix of New Republic and Federal Army soldiers all slumped off to catch their breath. Washington stood and watched them form huddled groups for a moment before following their lead, pulling off his helmet and taking a swig of a bottle of water he’d left nearby. Another day, another training session, another morning waking up curled up in Caboose’s arms.

He blushed a little. Dammit, surely he should have grown out of doing that by now?

That morning he’d woken up; slipped himself from Caboose’s tight embrace; gotten into his armour; woken Caboose up; and been kissed good morning as he left for the training floor. The morning before had been the same, as had the morning before that. In fact for nearly the past week that had been how he’d spent his mornings, ever since Caboose had come by that one night and they’d fallen into bed together.

Wait, no. Not like that. They’d cuddled and stimmed together and Washington had fallen asleep feeling happier than he had in a long time. He was glad that this seemed to be something that was going to continue. Caboose’s care and affection was more than he ever felt he deserved.

He found himself wiggling where he stood, and with a cough quickly stilled himself. An old habit he was trying to break − the stopping himself, that is. He glanced at the group of soldiers and saw they were paying him no heed, so he let himself wiggle a little more at the feeling of warmth that was pooling in his chest.

“Hey Wash.”

Washington nearly jumped out of his skin. Tucker’s laugh echoed from behind him, and after a silent chuckle of his own he turned around to give the other man his best exasperated look.

“Hello Tucker,” He folded his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow.

Tucker was grinning his usual unashamed grin, helmet in his hand and leaning against one of the room’s concrete pillars. Wash was pretty sure he should be in some meeting or training somewhere, but he wasn’t surprised to see he wasn’t where he was supposed to be.

“Whatcha doing?” He asked, foot tapping back against the wall.

Wash tilted his head, expression turning somewhat amused, “Instructing a training group, as I always do at this time in the morning. What are _you_ doing, Captain Tucker?”

“Oh y’know, just hanging out. Taking in the sights,” He looked at Wash a little more pointedly than usual, and his grin became more of a smirk. Wash blinked, and Tucker continued, “Y’know, I was feeling a little off today, but watching you definitely turned me on.”

…What? Wash blinked again, wondering for a moment if he’d heard that right. It definitely seemed like a very Tucker-like thing to say, but surely if he’d meant to do that he’d have followed it up with a ‘bow chicka bow wow’. If he _hadn’t_ meant to do it then he would likely still have followed it up with a ‘bow chicka bow wow’. Had he not even noticed the double entendre in that comment?

An awkward chuckle from Tucker and fingers clicking snapped him back from his thoughts.

“Uh, Wash? You still in there?” Tucker chuckled, raising an eyebrow, “Fuck dude, did I hit an off switch myself?”

Wash coughed, shaking his head and clearing his thoughts. He mustn’t have noticed, that’s all, “Yes Tucker I’m ‘still here’. Did you have anything else to say or are you just here to annoy me as usual?”

“Oh you like my company. Don’t deny it,” Tucker’s grin returned as he spoke, and Washington could only laugh and shake his head.

“Alright Tucker. I need to get back to my job now, if that’s alright with you,” He said, nodding back over his shoulder to the soldiers behind him and taking a last swig of water, “I assume you have duties you’re supposed to be attending to.”

“Eh, a meeting or something else boring,” Tucker replied with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“Well, since you’re here you could always run some laps with the Privates,” Wash suggested, raising a brow before he pulled his helmet back on, “If a meeting is _so_ ‘boring _’_.”

Tucker backtracked in an instant, “No fucking way, dude. Damn fine, I’ll go to the meeting!”

Wash chuckled, turning and walking back to the soldiers under his command, “I’ll be checking Tucker.”

“Ah, fuck you dude.”

* * *

The next time he saw Tucker that day was in the mess hall, having what looked to be a very animated conversation with a very bouncy Caboose. Wash glanced over at them as he grabbed his ration of food and sat at one of the tables, the table that the Reds and Blues all shared and that was currently occupied by Red Team.

He took a bite of his bread, chewing as he kept an eye on the two blue soldiers. Caboose was bouncing on the spot, his hands flapping as he talked in a loud whisper. Tucker kept trying to shush him, but Caboose simply wouldn’t be quieted further so he seemed to give up after a while. They continued like this for a few minutes, the conversation only ending when Caboose grabbed Tucker in one of his bone-crushing hugs.

“Fucking− Caboose! Ow!”

Caboose dropped him quickly, nearly sending Tucker onto his ass, “Oops!”

Wash chuckled at the sight, as confused as he was by the interaction. He smiled as Caboose plopped into the seat next to him, and blushed as he kissed his cheek. He gave a momentary glance to the Reds, but they didn’t seem to have noticed or at the very least they didn’t care. So he relaxed and gave him a kiss on the cheek in return, smiling as Caboose began to bounce again.

Then an arm propped itself atop Caboose’s head, earning a pout, and Tucker was standing by with that same grin on his face once again.

“Hey Wash, how’s your fever?” He said, moving his arm from Caboose’s head when Caboose directed the pout up at him.

Wash paused, looking at him, “…What fever?”

“Oh… you just look hot to me,” Tucker shrugged, face splitting into yet another obnoxious grin. Washington just stared at him with his brow furrowed and his jaw slightly agape. _What_?

The whole table seemed to understand something he didn’t, because Grif started laughing and after that no one else seemed to be able to stop themselves from joining in. Simmons was trying to stop himself, head in his hands and his shoulders shaking. Sarge was laughing unashamedly and loudly. Grif was in hysterics. Donut was laughing so hard he was doubled over with his head on the table. Caboose was pronouncing his ‘HAHAHA’ exaggeratedly. Tucker was nearly on the floor.

Washington had _no idea_ what was going on.

* * *

Later that evening Washington was clearing up the training floor after a long day of inter-army fights and training sessions, with Caboose helping him lift the larger pieces of equipment. He could feel the knots of tension in his muscles, and he’d definitely cut into his cheek with his teeth again at some point during the day. He couldn’t wait to just go back to his room with Caboose, lay down, and relax.

The light in the room was so dim that he already felt like he was about to fall asleep. Though he very much doubted sleep would actually come so easy, even with Caboose by his side.

“I have put the things away Wash!” Caboose called from the storage area, his voice echoing around the concrete room. Wash groaned a little at the reverberation.

“Good job, Caboose. There’s not much left to do, so you can go ahead and head back to the bunks if you like,” He said in return, picking up a discarded gun and glancing over to storage. He chuckled as Caboose had to duck his head slightly on his way out.

“Okay!” He all but bounced over, kissing Wash on the top of the head, “I will see Washingtub back soon!”

Wash nodded, brushing the hair from his boyfriend’s face and watching him leave− wait. Boyfriend? Did he just think that? Shit. Was that what Caboose was to him now? They’d definitely been acting very… couple-y. But they hadn’t exactly sat down and _talked_ about it. They should probably do that? Right.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone hitting the floor behind him. Turning around he was far from surprised to see Tucker there, collapsed on the floor where he must have fallen over. Washington stared at him for a long moment, before simply raising his hands at his sides and shrugging.

“What?”

“Do you have a Band-Aid?” Tucker asked, pushing himself up onto his elbows. There was a pause, “Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.”

Wash sighed, “No, Tucker, I don’t. And I neither caused you to fall, or find it very likely that you grazed your knee when in full armour.”

As he walked to leave he almost swore he could hear a half-laughed ‘seriously?!’ from behind him.

* * *

Over the course of the next two days there were many incidents like this. From Tucker over-dramatically keeling over in a training session, followed swiftly by the line ‘I hope you know CPR, ‘cus you take my breath away!’ to him walking into a room with the question ‘is it hot in here, or is it just you?’, among other things. Everyone else would always seem to be in on something that Washington wasn’t, because each of these lines would be followed by laughter.

Washington had noticed the pattern four pick-up lines in, but that didn’t make him any less confused. Tucker practically communicated in bad pick-up lines and innuendos; as much as he had changed over the past couple of years that was simply a fact of who he was. What was so funny to everyone else? What was he _missing_?

And also, why had he started blushing at some of the pick-up lines?

Even Caboose seemed to be in on whatever was going on, and he was being extremely tight-lipped about it all.

“Come on Caboose,” Washington had asked in the evening, sitting with his back to Caboose’s chest and his data-pad on his lap, “You know something about whatever’s so funny.”

Caboose only shook his head, holding Wash tight against his chest and nuzzling his face against his hair. Even bribing with kisses couldn’t get anything out of him, so Washington was still just as clueless as he was before. When the ordeal continued the next day the confusion only deepened.

“Please tell me I’m not the only one confused about how odd everyone’s been acting the past few days,” He said as he and Carolina left a meeting with the generals, barely giving Carolina time to breath between them leaving and him speaking.

She chuckled, looking at him out of the corner of her eye, “Odd? They always act odd. It’s part of the package deal.”

“Oh very funny,” Washington said with his driest voice, giving her a look out of the corner of his eye in return, “Seriously Carolina. It’s weird! Tucker’s being Tucker and somehow that’s making people randomly burst into laughter! Grif nearly passed out from laughing yesterday. It’s getting ridiculous.”

Wash was used to Carolina taking pauses to think of her words, but the pause that followed was extreme even for her. So, confused, he looked at her properly and saw she was trying to hold back laughter.

He was slightly ashamed of how squeaky his voice went in the next moment, “What the hell is going on around here?!”

Carolina was still trying not to laugh as she spoke, “It’s not my place to say.”

Wash’s voice was somehow _squeakier_ , “What does that mean?!”

Carolina apparently couldn’t stop herself anymore, because she cracked. With a hand over her mouth in a vain attempt to stop herself she began to laugh, stopping in her tracks. Washington stopped too, if only to stare at her in utter disbelief. As he watched her, Epsilon appeared in the air by Carolina’s head, arms folded and a general stance that somehow made the hologram look fed up.

“Fuck, Agent Washington. How oblivious _are_ you exactly?”

Wash stormed off, Carolina both laughing and trying to apologise from behind him.

* * *

Washington’s utter confusion only grew as the day went on. Every fit of muffled laughter and every pick-up line, which were getting progressively more ridiculous, made him more and more bemused. And as if that wasn’t all confusing enough as it was, he was _definitely_ starting to blush at said pick-up lines and was _definitely_ starting to realise a few other things.

Like the fact Tucker’s laugh made warmth pool in his chest just as much as Caboose’s did. Like the fact that Tucker was actually just as aesthetically pleasing as he bragged he was. Like the fact he cared about Tucker and Caboose equally, and that was more than anything in the world. Like the fact Tucker’s pick-up lines were having an effect on him besides the confusion.

Well, fuck.

This realisation came with at _least_ two more problems: the fact that he was pretty sure Tucker was straight; and the fact that he was by some definition _with_ Caboose, but having feelings towards someone else. Neither of these facts helped his ongoing crisis of confusion as the pick-up lines just kept coming and coming. And he kept blushing.

It all came to a head when, after Tucker came out with the line ‘Are you a cat? Cause you are purrrfect’, Washington found himself with a bright red face and a heartbeat of what felt like five hundred beats a minute. He found himself just staring at Tucker as the Lieutenants tried to muffle their laughter and their captains, well, _didn’t_. Tucker was grinning as he had been for most of the past few days, but had his head tilted and was looking at Wash just as intently as Wash was looking at him.

“Dude, you okay?” He eventually asked, a chuckle in his voice but his expression just the slightest bit more serious. Not that Wash particularly noticed the subtle change.

No, he was much too focused on trying to piece together his thoughts to come up with some kind of coherent response that got across exactly what he wanted to say.

“What the _fuck_ Tucker?” Is what came out instead.

The laughter around them peaked for a moment before everyone tried to muffle themselves to hear what was going to be said next. Tucker was almost doubled over, only really held up by his grip on Caboose’s arm.

“Oh my god, Wash! I’m _hitting on you_. I am literally flirting with you!” The aqua soldier said, somewhat breathless from laughing and with a grin on his face. Washington still found himself only able to stare, mouth agape, and Tucker snorted, “Fuck, Wash! I. Am. Flirting. With. You. In a gay way. Well, a bi way. But a gay way. Flirting.”

Washington still only stared.

Tucker had been flirting with him. Honest to god flirting.

Well, _fuck_.

There was a beat of further silence, interrupted only when Grif could no longer stop himself from laughing. He got an elbow in his side from Simmons for his troubles, and with a roll of his eyes Tucker grabbed Wash and Caboose by their hands. Washington snapped out of his trance just in time for the aqua solider to drag him and his boyfriend away from the rest of the group.

Wash’s mind was racing, barely taking in where they were going. Because Tucker had been _flirting with him_. First Caboose had come to his room and kissed him, smacking him in the face with feelings he hadn’t even realised he had until that moment, and now Tucker was _flirting with him_.

What the fuck was going on?

They finally came to a stop at the room Tucker and Caboose shared, where Tucker dragged them inside and shut the door behind them. Part of Wash wanted to protest that there was another half of the training session to be completed, but the same part also realised that by now the others would have scattered anyway. So the thought remained unspoken.

Instead, what once again slipped out was: “What the _fuck_ Tucker?”

“Okay dude, I’m sorry. Mostly. Kinda. Look, this was just as much Caboose’s idea as it was mine,” Tucker said, holding his hands up defensively. Wash glanced between the two, from Tucker’s cheeky grin to Caboose’s innocent beaming face, and raised an eyebrow, “I mean it!”

“ _What_ idea?” Washington asked, folding his arms and rocking on his heels. He was confused. He was very, very confused.

“Caboose, you can go ahead and explain this plan because I did my bit,” Tucker said, nudging Caboose in the side and then dropping to sit on the edge of his bed. It creaked under the weight of him in his armour.

Wash looked to Caboose, head tilted, and couldn’t suppress a slight smile seeing him bouncing.

“It is plan ‘make Washingtub feel loved’!” Caboose said, a bright smile on his face and bouncing on his toes. Wash felt his eyes widen, and his cheeks go red, “Because Wash is not always very happy, and Wash is very cute when he is happy and should be happy all of the time.”

Wash was pretty sure his face was on fire.

Tucker chuckled, “Caboose is a… _lot_ more observant than I gave him credit for – which he now won’t let me forget, by the way – because he totally figured out I have a thing for you. And uh, for him. Which is not something I ever thought I’d be admitting, but there you go.”

Wash looked between the two of them again, seeing Tucker’s grin was now somewhat awkward and that Caboose looked almost smug.  

“So after you two got all cosy the other night he came to me with this ‘plan of action’ or whatever. And, well, the rest is kinda history,” He shrugged, “Though we apparently didn’t plan on you being _completely and utterly oblivious_.”

Wash spluttered, “Well excuse me, mister ‘I communicate through innuendo’! How was I supposed to know that it was aimed at me?!”

“Because they were literally always directly said to you?” Tucker suggested, “I dunno dude; that would have been a pretty big indicator for me.”

“I, well– shut up,” Wash huffed, scratching the back of his head. Tucker chuckled.

“Oh great comeback there Wash. You really got me.”

Wash shook his head, biting his cheek and trying to collect his thoughts, “Wait so… just let me get this straight. Caboose, you set this up because you figured out Tucker had feelings towards me? And you?”

“Yes!” Caboose said with a happy nod, flapping his hands at hip level, “And that you like Tucker!”

“Right, and that I like T– wait, what? Caboose, even I didn’t know that I liked Tucker until−” And then he cut himself off, going deep red and internally cursing himself. Him and his _big mouth_.

Tucker whistled, his usual grin returning, “Don’t stop there Wash. Tell me all about how you like me.”

“Tucker do not make me regret opening my mouth more than I already do,” Wash said, trying and failing to stop a smile of his own spreading.

“So does that mean you’d be okay with this?”

“Okay with what exactly?”

Tucker shrugged, waving a hand to gesture at all three of them, “This. Us three. Because I know you’re all lovey-dovey and shit with Caboose, which he’s been fucking bouncing off the walls about by the way, but y’know. A three people thing. What’s that called again?”

“Polygons,” Caboose said with a nod.

“Polyamory,” Wash corrected gently, “It’s called polyamory. And um, well…”

Was he okay with that? He had feelings for them both, that much he’d figured out. Caboose made his heart feel free and him feel so happy, so safe; Tucker made him feel happy in a different way, bringing laughs and an easy to understand attitude and an underlying friendship he’d come to cherish. He cherished both of their friendships, his relationship with both of them. They meant the world to him.

Well, fuck.

When he came out of his thoughts they were both looking at him somewhat expectantly, Caboose with his hands clasped in front of his chest and Tucker with his head tilted. He let a smile form on his lips, his cheeks still red.

“Yeah. Yeah I’m okay with this. I’m… more than okay with t− Oof!”

Caboose’s arms were around him in an instant, pulling him into one of his strong, warm hugs that made Washington feel amazing. He was stunned for a moment before breaking into a wider smile, wiggling his arms free to wrap them around Caboose’s shoulders and lace his fingers into her hair.

“Well hey buddy,” He chuckled, burying his face into his neck. This was nice.

“Hey, what about me?” Tucker piped up, his arms folded and a face of mock anger.

Within moments Caboose had shifted to kneel by the bed, wrapping both of the shorter men in a tight hug and burying his face against their hair. Tucker laughed, wriggling his arms free enough to wrap one around Caboose and one around Wash, the latter of whom quickly returned the favour. Kisses were peppered over their cheeks and Washington felt warmth in his chest like never before. A purr rumbled up from that warmth, and Caboose giggled at the now familiar sound.

When the hug loosened Tucker was grinning, snorting as he pressed a kiss to Wash’s cheek, “Oh my god, you’re actually a cat!”

“Oh shut up,” Wash replied, but there was no bite in it. Tucker just laughed, though he was cut off a moment later by a quick peck on the lips off Caboose which made his cheeks darken and his mouth fall agape. At this it was Wash’s turn to laugh, “Caboose, I think you broke him.”

“Tucker’s fault.”

That snapped Tucker out of it, “How is it my fault?!”

“Tucker’s fault!”

Washington laughed, resting his head against Caboose’s shoulder, “What have I let myself in for?”

“Well, y’know what they say Wash. Two’s company, three’s−” Tucker started.

“−Also company!” Caboose finished.

“Three’s a crowd, Caboose,” Wash shook his head, smiling as he looked between the two, “But I think I like yours better, anyway.”


End file.
